By Steven Trolland
Even being a shy guy this is for you as promised in honour to an amazing lady that called herself my second mum played at her funeral.xxx."
Many may think that because I stand in front of large audiences that I am confident guy.
In fact I have always been a shy person all my life, and to sing and play the guitar especially on such an occasion my stomach was churning.
Even as a child at school I put on a brave face to try and be somebody, but the difference back then is that I always had the question, who am I?
And in trying to be somebody I often got up to no good and in trouble.
Now after time and learning to listening to my soul, yes I know who I/we are which is so much more than just the physical body, but it is still in my nature to be quite shy, especially when it comes to playing my guitar and singing which is usually behind doors and even then I often put the guitar straight back down again. But in honour of an incredible lady this wasn't about me, just like in a demonstration or a private reading I have to relax my wants' and needs because the less I make it about me, the more it becomes about those that love you in the spirit world, and this was no different and I guess is what made it work on this beautiful ladies day.
So in honour "may the spirit world be richer now". x
For many years we would go through to stay there by the sea and boy she knows how to have a good time out at the bar dancing away and also many of the times she was the last one standing and still dancing away puting all us young ones to shame.
She always spoilt us with her cooking and going out for meals and she certainly knew how to show her love that are close to her.
It was one year way back and guessing could even twenty years ago or more is when I came back to the place where everyone was staying is when she walked in and heard me playing this song on my forends guitar and it was then she decided that she wanted me to play it on the day celebrating her life. Whenever I pick up my guitar now and when playing a different song I feel her close and with the feeling of her saying "play this song" so I certainly do and knowing if my voice isn't the best at the time she still appreciates my effort, love and respect for her.
Many years ago I had not a bad voice but certainly not professional, and to cut a long story short I have suffered big changes in my lungs and throat that are still under investigation.
Basically my voice can change all the time to where I also lose much of it and even now, much of the time can't properly clear it.
So when this amazing lady sadly to us passed away and made the spirit world a richer place, I couldn't not try for her and also for my best friend who's mum it is.
So I spent a long time remembering how to play and I made this recording encase I needed to play it instead of singing encase my voice wouldn't allow me on the day.
The thought of actually singing and playing the guitar in front of people or not being able to fulfill her wishes, I felt the expectations were high and all I wanted was to fulfill her wish as I know she would be listening in and a part of her day honouring her.
But through my high emotions on the day and my hands shaking I could say although not my best performance that I did it, and all that I wish for and my biggest hope is that I did her proud.
And I hope that you like this too!
It was recorded using a bluetooth device I put round my neck with a mic on it bluetoothed to my phone. :-)